


Dangerous Fascination

by magicsophicorn



Category: Primeval
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-02-27
Updated: 2010-02-27
Packaged: 2018-02-24 18:12:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,448
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2591285
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/magicsophicorn/pseuds/magicsophicorn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Helen holds a dangerous fascination for Jenny.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dangerous Fascination

_Day 3  
I have decided to call the phenomena ‘anomalies’. Whilst it may not be the most original name, it is at least descriptive.  
  
At first I thought it was just the one anomaly, the one in the Forrest of Dean leading to the Permian, but today I discovered another one, this one leading to the Cretaceous. Who knows how many more there are? There could be anomalies leading to every era, there could even be some leading to the future.  
  
This is too important to ignore, too important not to investigate. This is the greatest scientific discovery ever made, it changes everything we know about almost everything. I can’t just walk away from it.  
  
I went back to the house today to collect some essential supplies. I intend to explore the anomalies, properly. There is so much to be learned and documented.  
  
Nick wasn’t at home when I went back. A part of me hoped he would have been there, that I could have shared this with him, but at the same time a part of me was glad that he wasn’t, that this discovery is mine. I didn’t wait for him to come home, how could I?  
  
I’m back in the Permian now, I spent the rest of the day studying some Dimetrodon and discovered that the prevailing theory on their behaviour is quite wrong.  
  
Tomorrow I shall document all the fauna I come across in this era as I make my way back to the spot where I found the anomaly to the Cretaceous.   
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Day 3102  
When I first started travelling through the anomalies it was for scientific curiosity. The early entries in this journal are filled with observations and theories. I would spend weeks in each era I visited meticulously documenting everything I saw and experienced.  
  
But I realised today that somewhere along the line my motivations changed, I think perhaps it was after my first visit to the future, that barren wasteland the earth will become. I’ve realised that I looked at my surroundings differently, instead of seeing the wonder of discovery all around me I merely saw threats, saw opportunities. I became so focused on myself and on my ability to survive that I forgot what I was doing in the first place.  
  
It’s funny how something so completely unrelated to my original motivations could not only make me realise this but also reawaken my old sense of scientific curiosity.  
  
When I first met Claudia Brown she was nothing more than a slight distraction, I will admit I let my feelings for Nick affect me more than I should have back then, how could I have known how important she really was?  
  
Today I came back to the present to find that she no longer existed, or rather never existed to start with, yet there was now a perfect physical copy of her by the name of Jenny Lewis.  
  
I had of course realised that changes in the past could have consequences in the present, but I could never have imagined this. How could something in the past cause such a small specific localised change in the present? There is so much about it that I don’t understand, so many questions I want answered. Did she grow up as Claudia and only change when we changed whatever we did in the past? Does she remember being Claudia? My mind is alight with possibilities, theories, questions. I have to find out more.  
  
It will be a challenge, but I’m sure I can find out some of the answers I need._    
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
The little girl’s eyes filled with wonder and delight at the sight before her. Never in her short little life had she seen anything so beautiful, so glorious. She reached up tentatively, as though she was afraid that if she touched it it would disappear, like a dream. Her tiny fingers brushed the glorious softness of the pink unicorn stuffed toy and her heart filled with joy. She pulled the stuffed toy into a tight embrace and skipped off to find her parents. She was sure her daddy would get the toy for her; he got her everything she wanted.  
  
The girl felt panic rise in her chest and grip her heart, she felt like she couldn’t breathe. She looked left and right but still could not see her parents anywhere. She felt the first sting of tears on her cheeks when she heard a voice behind her,  
  
“Are you lost, sweetheart?”  
  
The little girl turned to face the voice, she found that it belonged to a woman with long brown hair and sparkling brown eyes, she thought she was very pretty.  
  
The little girl nodded, her eyes wide and pleading.  
  
“Would you like me to help you find your parents?”  
  
The little girl just nodded again.  
  
“What’s your name?” the woman asked, holding out her hand to the girl.  
  
“Jenny,” the little girl whispered, slipping her hand into the woman’s, her other arm wrapped tightly around the stuffed toy’s neck.  
  
“Hello Jenny, my name’s Helen,” the woman said with a smile which made the fear in Jenny’s chest go away.  
  
“Why don’t you tell me about your parents while we look for them? What do they look like? What do they do?”  
  
“Mummy’s very pretty and she goes shopping and Daddy is very handsome and he makes lots of money telling people what to do,” Jenny said proudly as they walked around the shop looking for her parents.  
  
Suddenly she saw them ahead, far from where she had last seen them.  
  
“Mummy! Daddy!” Jenny cried, letting go of Helen’s hand and running towards them.  
  
When she turned back to say thank you to Helen she was already gone.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Jenny closed her eyes, waiting for the stinging blow she knew was coming.  
  
Natalie and her gang had been bullying her for weeks now and she had known it would only be a matter of time before they caught her alone and really hurt her. It had started out with just little comments, just snide little remarks that chipped away at Jenny’s confidence, leaving her crying into her pillow at night.  
  
Then the threats had started.  
  
Jenny couldn’t understand why they picked on her. What had she done to make them hate her? Jenny had nice clothes and toys, sure, but there were other kids with nicer stuff so it couldn’t be that. Jenny knew she was smart but she didn’t think she showed off like all the geeky teacher’s pets did, so it couldn’t be that either. The fact that she didn’t know what about her was so bad made the whole thing worse.  
  
They hadn’t acted on their threats until today, and even this was probably just an act of opportunity. Jenny had taken a short cut home from school through the park and had the bad luck to run into Natalie and her friends along the way.  
  
They just shouted at first, but when Jenny lowered her head and ignored them, like all the grown ups always told her to, they came after her. They grabbed her bag and pushed her over, laughing at her. Then Natalie had raised her fist, and that’s when Jenny had shut her eyes.  
  
But the blow she was expecting never came.  
  
Jenny opened her eyes slowly, unsure of what she would see. There was a woman holding tightly on to Natalie’s wrist, Jenny saw her tighten her grip and twist a little, making Natalie cry out in pain.  
  
“It’s not very nice to bully people, Natalie. I don’t like it when people hurt my friends, so if you don’t want me to break your wrist you’ll leave Jenny alone from now on, do you understand me?  
  
The woman’s voice was low and quiet, Jenny had to strain to really hear it. It sent chills down her spine and made her heart skip a beat. Who was this woman who knew her and knew that Natalie had been bullying her? She seemed a little bit familiar but Jenny couldn’t work out why.   
  
Natalie nodded, still sobbing, and her friends just stared open-mouthed at this unexpected turn of events.  
  
“I’m going to let you go now, Natalie, and I suggest you leave quickly. And if you ever hurt Jenny again, I will hurt you too, understood?”  
  
The woman let go of Natalie’s wrist and the girl immediately clutched it to her chest and ran off crying. Her friends followed her after one last gawp at the mysterious woman.  
  
She crouched down in front of Jenny.  
  
“Are you all right, Jenny?” she said, her voice no less low and quiet, but somehow lacking the menace it had contained a moment ago.  
  
“I… I’m okay. Th… Thank you. Wh… Who are you? How do you know my name?”   
  
“I’m hurt that you don’t remember me, Jenny,” the woman replied, although she was smiling so Jenny didn’t think she really meant it. “I’m Helen. When you were 6 years old I helped you find your Mum and Dad when you got lost in a shopping centre.”  
  
Jenny’s brow crinkled as she tried to remember, that must be why she seemed so familiar. Jenny couldn’t remember exactly, but she did remember the big pink unicorn stuffed toy she got that day, which was still her favourite toy now.  
  
“But… How did you know…” Jenny’s eyes went wide as a thought occurred to her, “Are you my guardian angel?”  
  
Helen’s lips twitched ever so slightly.  
  
“You could say that, I suppose. Now come on, let’s get you up off the ground.”  
  
Helen lifted Jenny easily to her feet and carried her over to the nearest bench, sitting her down gently.  
  
“So why are those girls picking on you then, Jenny?” Helen asked gently.  
  
Jenny looked down at the ground and mumbled a quiet, “I dunno.”  
  
Helen reached over as if she was going to stroke Jenny’s hair, but pulled her hand back at the last minute.  
  
“Jenny, let me tell you something important. Those girls might be popular now, but when you’re all grown up they won’t be, you’ll be so much better than them. They’re trying to make you upset, they’re trying to make you scared and weak. But it’s up to you if you let them win or not. You can go along with it and become passive or you can choose to let it make you stronger, tougher, and bolder. You can choose to beat them.”  
  
Jenny concentrated for a bit before asking, “What does passive mean?”  
  
“It means being a push over,” Helen said with a little smile, “so what do you think? Are you a push over or are you bold as brass?”  
  
“I’m bold as brass! Like you.” Jenny replied, deciding then that she wanted to be strong like Helen.  
  
“That’s my girl, Jenny. Now, tell me about your school, what’s it like? What’s your favourite subject?”  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Jenny was crying so much she could barely see as she threw her clothes into the bag on her bed. She wiped her eyes with the back of her hand and zipped up the bag, flinging it over her shoulder before heading towards the window. She stopped to take one last look around her room and decided she couldn’t possibly leave her pink unicorn stuffed toy behind. She thought for the umpteenth time that she should really give the thing a name, it was her favourite childhood toy after all, but the thought was soon forgotten at the rush of cold night air as Jenny yanked open her bedroom window and climbed out on to the roof, then down the trellis to the ground.  
  
She made her way to her favourite park bench and sat down to clear her head and come up with a plan.  
  
She wasn’t going to sleep out here, that was for sure, she could go to Clare’s house for a night or two, they could pretend it was a sleepover, then she could move on to Kate’s. It wasn’t like her parents knew who her friends were or where they lived, hell they probably wouldn’t even notice that she was gone anyway.  
  
Jenny felt a familiar stab of pain when thinking of her parents and had to fight to stop her tears from falling once again. They spent so long yelling and screaming at each other Jenny just couldn’t stand it anymore. Sometimes they argued about her, too, so Jenny thought maybe if she left they wouldn’t argue so much.  
  
She closed her eyes, breathing deeply to calm herself. She felt a jolt of fear run through her as she thought she heard a noise behind her. Turning slowly, Jenny saw movement in one of the bushes behind the bench. As her mind warred between running away and lashing out with her bag she saw a figure emerge from the bushes.  
  
“Helen!”  
  
She was up, running to Helen, wrapping her arms around her and burying her face in her clothes before Helen had a chance to say a word.   
  
“So you remember me this time, then?” Helen asked, patting Jenny awkwardly on the back.   
  
“It’s a lot easier to remember when I was 11 than when I was 6. Although I’m 16 now, and beginning to see a pattern here…”  
  
“You’re a bright girl, Jenny. Come on, let’s sit down, you can tell me what’s going on.”  
  
They sat down in silence, which Jenny only broke after several long minutes.  
  
“I think my parents are going to get divorced,” Jenny said, proud of how steady her voice was.  
  
“So?” Helen replied.  
  
Jenny just stared at her, she felt like her whole world was collapsing around her and all her guardian angel had to say on the matter was ‘so?’  
  
“Look, Jenny,” Helen sighed and ran her hand through her hair, “of course it’s sad that your parents are getting divorced, but sometimes it’s for the best. Sometimes two people are just too different, they want different things, and it’s just better for everyone if they go their separate ways. That’s just the way it is.”  
  
Jenny didn’t know what to say, she hadn’t really considered that, and to be honest it didn’t really make her feel that much better. She didn’t say anything though, she didn’t want to question her guardian angel’s methods. Instead she just snuggled in closer to Helen’s side, taking comfort in the only consistent and dependable adult Jenny could think of.  
  
“So have you thought about university yet? What will you study?” Helen asked after a good long while of sitting in silence.  
  
“You know, for a guardian angel you ask an awful lot of questions…”  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
“Hello, anyone home?” Jenny shouted into her house, knowing full well she wouldn’t get an answer but wanting to check nonetheless.  
  
Jenny loved having this house with her friends, it was so much nicer than living in halls – cleaner for a start, and no one nicked her food – but she was one of those people who needed their alone time too, so she was always grateful for weekends like this when the others went away to visit home, or boyfriends at other universities.  
  
She shrugged her coat off and threw it over the banister, picking up the post from the side and wandering slowly upstairs flicking through it. She paused half way up the stairs, she thought she heard movement up there.  
  
“Hello? Hannah? Laura? Is that you ? I thought you were away this weekend…”  
  
She didn’t move from her position on the stairs, feeling her heart begin to beat faster the longer she went without an answer. Jenny took a few deep breaths to calm herself down and headed upstairs as quietly as she could manage. She paused on the landing waiting to see if she heard anything again. Her stomach lurched with fear when she saw a shadow move in the bathroom. She grabbed Laura’s tennis racket, suddenly glad that Laura never paid attention to her when she told her to put the bloody thing away, and advanced slowly towards the bathroom.  
  
Jenny pushed open the half closed bathroom door, hoping beyond hope she was just imagining things and not about to come face to face with a burglar. Instead she was greeted by the sight of a woman relaxing in the bathtub.   
  
“Excuse me, what the hell do you think you’re doing in my bathtub?”  
  
A familiar face turned towards to her, smiling half heartedly.  
  
“Nice to see you too, Jenny.”  
  
Jenny breathed a sigh of relief, feeling all her muscles relax as a familiar feeling of safety washed over her.  
  
“What are you doing here? It hasn’t been five years yet…” Jenny said, dropping the tennis racket and leaning against the door.  
  
Helen didn’t answer, she just gripped the side of the bath, pulling herself to her feet.  
  
Only then did Jenny notice the fresh cuts and bruises that covered her body.  
  
Helen stepped out of the bathtub and towards Jenny, swaying slightly.  
  
“My my, look how you’ve grown, Jenny.”  
  
Helen’s eyes raked over Jenny’s body, and for the first time in her life Jenny felt uncomfortable in the other woman’s presence, and not just because Helen was completely stark naked.  
  
“Helen… Are you… What happened?”  
  
Helen looked as though she was about to answer but instead fell forward, Jenny was only just able to catch her before she hit the ground, and certainly wasn’t strong enough to hold her up, so she just gently lowered her to the floor.  
  
Helen looked up at Jenny, her eyes not completely open and she whispered, “I think I need some help.”  
  
It took a little while but Jenny eventually managed to get Helen into her bed. Jenny wasn’t really sure what to do next but she knew there was a first aid box in the kitchen which she ran to get. She also brought up a hot water bottle, because Helen looked like she had a fever. It seemed like something her mum would do.  
  
Helen drifted in and out of consciousness whilst Jenny tended to her cuts as best she could, disinfecting them and putting sterile pads from the first aid kit on a few of the worse ones.  
  
“Shall I call a doctor?” Jenny asked, when she had done all she could think of to do.  
  
Helen’s eyes flew open at the question. “No!” she cried, with more force than Jenny was expecting given her current state.  
  
“But Helen you need…”  
  
“I said no!” Helen interrupted, before closing her eyes again and seemingly falling back into unconsciousness. .  
  
Jenny climbed into her bed next to Helen, getting herself as close to the other woman as she dared without hurting her.  
  
“Please don’t die,” she whispered, taking hold of Helen's hand and feeling a slight twitch which gave her hope that her plea had been heard.  
  
The next morning when Jenny woke, her bed was empty. She got up and went downstairs, finding Helen sitting at the kitchen table looking much more alert than she had yesterday.  
  
Jenny sat down opposite her, neither woman saying a word. Helen pushed a mug of tea across the table towards Jenny.  
  
After a few minutes silence Jenny finally spoke.  
  
“You’re not a guardian angel, are you?”  
  
She felt her heart sink as she said it, as if acknowledging the thought made it real, and the way Helen narrowed her eyes only made it worse.  
  
“Do you trust me, Jenny?” Helen finally asked, just when Jenny thought she could stand the silence no longer.  
  
Jenny barely had to think to know the answer.  
  
“With my life.”  
  
“Then don’t ask questions,” Helen stated finally and Jenny felt it like a blow to the stomach.  
  
They finished the rest of their tea in silence, then Jenny went upstairs to have a shower and get dressed. When she returned Helen was already gone, like she had known she would be.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
“What are you doing, Jenny?”  
  
She couldn’t help but laugh when she heard that voice, because she knew it would happen, she knew as soon as he proposed to her that it had been 5 years and there was no way she wouldn’t get a visit over this.  
  
“What does it look like I’m doing? I’m washing my hands.”  
  
She snapped at Helen, though she didn’t mean it, she just hated that she had to wait 5 whole years to see her again.  
  
She could hear the faint sound of her friends laughing and chatting in the living room through the closed bathroom door and once again couldn’t help but marvel at the way Helen could be in exactly the right place at exactly the right time. This wasn’t an official engagement party – no doubt that would come in a few months when her soon-to-be-mother-in-law had had enough time to organise something suitably spectacular, probably involving a marquee – this was just a few friends round for drinks who she hadn’t been able to resist telling.  
  
“He’s not right for you, Jenny.”  
  
Jenny sighed, looking at Helen’s reflection in the bathroom mirror.  
  
“Who are you to say that? You don’t know him.”  
  
“I’m your g…”  
  
“Don’t say it, don’t fucking say it! You’re not a guardian angel! I don’t know who you are, or why or how you come to me but you’re human just like me.”  
  
When Helen replied there was a malice in her eyes that Jenny hasn’t seen since she was 11 years old and Helen almost broke Natalie’s wrist for bullying her.  
  
“This isn’t easy for me, you know. The closest I could get here was 3 weeks ago. I’ve been stuck here for 3 weeks waiting for you, just so that we could have this conversation, and all you do is swear at me.”  
  
“The closest you could get here? What the fuck does that even mean, Helen?”  
  
“Does it really matter? I’m here. I’ve always been there for you when you needed me the most.”  
  
There was nothing Jenny could say to that, because in her heart she knew it was true.  
  
They just stared at each other for a moment, and not for the first time Jenny wished she knew what Helen was really thinking.  
  
Throughout her life Helen had been there to help her at the times when it could have gone so wrong, and Jenny had come to use Helen as a measure of how bad things were, she judged an event on how much she wished Helen would appear and save the day. And really, now that she thought about it, she’d spent all her life waiting, hoping, for Helen to appear.  
  
The sense of inevitability was suffocating Jenny. She felt like every second of her life had been leading up to every footstep she took towards Helen. She stood, square in front of her, so close they were almost touching, and trusted her eyes to say what she couldn’t, knowing that Helen knew her enough to know.  
  
It was Helen who closed the distance between them, her lips brushing Jenny’s for a fleeting moment.  
  
There was a gentle knock on the door, “Are you all right in there, Jenny? You’ve been in there a while…”  
  
“I’m fine, Hannah, I’ll be out in a minute.” She was almost ashamed of how steady her voice was given the whirlwind of emotions raging inside her, but she’d spent long enough in PR now to slip into that role easily.  
  
“I suppose I’ll have to wait another five years to see you again now.”  
  
Helen just smirked and Jenny had to fight not to cry.  
  
“It might be sooner than you think, Jenny.”  
  
Jenny left the bathroom without another word, never doubting for a second that Helen would be able to find a way to leave without any of her guests knowing.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
“Well, Miss Lewis, now that you’ve signed the Official Secrets Act you can learn a little more about your new job. All the information you need is here, I’ll return in an hour.”  
  
Jenny stared at Sir James Lester’s retreating back before turning her attention to the mountain of files before her. She was in what looked like an interrogation room with the contents of several filing cabinets on the table in front of her. She was sure this was some kind of test and so, determined to pass it, she opened the first file.  
  
What she found in the file made her even more certain that this was a test, however she was now a lot less certain of exactly how to pass. The idea of rips in time and dinosaurs appearing through them was the most ridiculous thing she’d ever heard, like something out of a bad sci-fi film. But when Sir James returned would he expect her to pretend to believe it? Or to ask what was  _really_  going on here? Jenny thought for a few moments, but still could not decide what to do. Realising she was wasting the hour in which Sir James would no doubt expect her to have read every single file, she dropped the one in her hand on the table and picked up the files marked ‘Personnel’.  
  
After reading about quite possibly  _the_  most unlikely people to be involved in a highly classified government agency, Jenny turned the page to find a familiar face staring up at her.  
  
Jenny had never been claustrophobic, but she suddenly knew what it must feel like. She felt as though the walls of the room were getting closer, pressing in on her, sucking all the air from her lungs, crushing her into the ground. She could hear blood rushing in her ears as scenes from her life danced across her mind’s eye.  
  
Helen was involved in  _this._  Suddenly the idea of rips in time seemed much more believable, it explained everything. Or, not quite everything. But it explained the how at least.  
  
Jenny read the page over and over, trying to take in every detail about Helen Cutter. The woman she read about on the page was described as a psychopath, a cold, calculating, manipulative woman who had an affair with her husband’s best friend and then left everyone thinking she was dead when in fact she was travelling though the anomalies.  
  
Jenny felt like she was reading about an evil twin, the photo looked just the same but the words just didn’t match up to the Helen she knew, the Helen who protected her, who made her feel safe.  
  
She read the documents about Nick and Helen Cutter again and again, trying to understand why Helen had chosen to act as her personal guardian angel, how she fitted in to all this. Try as she might she couldn’t come up with a single theory.  
  
Jenny didn’t realise the entire hour had passed until Sir James was standing looking at her expectantly.  
  
“I trust you now have all the information you need to do your job, Miss Lewis?”  
  
Jenny could see him watching carefully for her reaction, she was used to reading people by now, used to giving them what they wanted, being who they wanted her to be. She smiled tightly.  
  
“Absolutely, this should be an interesting and challenging project,” she replied, standing and walking to the door.  
  
“Yes and that’s just the scientists…” she heard Sir James mutter as she walked past him.  
  
“Would it be possible to meet the team? I’d very much like to meet the people I’ll be working with,” she asked, her heart skipping a beat at the thought of meeting someone so closely connected to Helen.  
  
“Of course Miss Lewis, follow me.”  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Jenny couldn’t deny she had taken an immediate disliking to Professor Nick Cutter. On her first day at the ARC he was intolerably rude to her, and it didn’t help that he consistently called her by another woman’s name. She tried to tell herself that her dislike wasn’t to do with jealousy, not really, it wasn't as if she'd ever thought about marrying Helen. But deep down she knew she was jealous, jealous that before Helen had left he got to see her more than once every 5 years, jealous that he knew the ordinary little things about her, like what her favourite food was.  
  
Every day Jenny would think about Helen, would wonder where she was, whether the files on her were right, was she really the villain of the piece? But more than any of that she would wonder why Helen had chosen her, why she had come to visit her so many times. Helen had never asked anything of her, except endless questions about her life, but her life could hardly be crucial to any plan Helen had, could hardly be of interest to someone who had been travelling through time. No, Jenny was sure it must have something to do with her getting this job here at the ARC, although she couldn’t work out what, or why Helen had never said anything about it. If Helen had came to her before she got this job and made up a story as to how the ARC team were the villains and Helen the hero then Jenny would have believed her without question, so why hadn’t she? Helen knew her well enough to know that.  
  
The doubt and uncertainty were slowly crushing Jenny. She didn’t know then that she wouldn’t have to wait very long to get the answers she needed.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Jenny collapsed into her car seat after possibly the most eventful first day of work in history. She’d had to face giant worms and worst of all her outfit had been ruined by the sprinkler system. Nothing like being thrown in at the deep end.  
  
Jenny sighed and opened her bag to root around for her car keys, she was always loosing them in amongst the essential everyday items like lipstick and her purse. Eventually she found them and started her car. She almost had a heart attack when she looked in the rear view mirror and found that she wasn’t alone.  
  
“Good evening Jenny.”  
  
“Helen! You scared me. What are you doing here?” Jenny asked, even though she knew she wouldn’t get an answer, at least not one that was true anyway.  
  
“Aren’t you pleased to see me?” Helen said with a small smile.  
  
“What are you doing here?” Jenny repeated, too tired from the frantic day she’d had and all her wondering about Helen to be polite.  
  
“I wanted to see you.”  
  
“Why didn’t you tell me? About the anomalies? About the ARC? Did you know I would get a job here? What am I saying, of course you knew, is that why you’ve been visiting me?”  
  
“I wanted to protect you. The anomalies are dangerous, Jenny, I’m sure you’ve realised that already.”  
  
Jenny slammed her hands down on the steering wheel in frustration, she knew Helen wasn’t being completely honest, but she was completely clueless as to what the truth really was. She felt utterly powerless.  
  
“Helen I can’t do this anymore. I can’t see you. I don’t know why you’ve been visiting me, but it has to stop. Get out of my car.”  
  
“Jenny you don’t really…”  
  
“I said get out!” Jenny practically screamed, her hands shaking as she gripped the steering wheel tightly.  
  
Helen opened the door and climbed out without saying another word, but just before she slammed the door shut Jenny heard her mutter, “No wonder Nick preferred Claudia.”  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
It was easy to blame Leek, much harder to accept that Helen had something to do with this. Jenny paced back and forth in the tiny cell she was currently sharing with Cutter, turning things over in her head.   
  
“What are Leek and Helen up to? All those creatures? Why are they here? What are they going to do with them?” she asked, unable to stand the silence any longer.  
  
Cutter just seemed amused by the whole situation.  
  
“Well, I could make a guess but what’s the point? It’s going to be okay, Helen’s not interested in you.”  
  
Jenny wasn’t so sure about that. Helen wouldn’t have visited her at all if she wasn’t interested. Everything Helen did had a reason, although Jenny still couldn’t understand what it was. Jenny wanted to tell Nick everything, but she didn’t. She couldn’t, not now, not after all this. She just felt so hurt and angry at Helen, for toying with her like that, and at herself, for falling for it.  
  
“She’s your wife. You should have kept her under control,” she spat, angry at him too, though she didn’t know exactly why. “You know what I mean,” she added, rolling her eyes at his amused expression.  
  
“I hope your fiancée knows you’re such an old fashioned girl,” Nick said chuckling, making Jenny want to punch him.  
  
“For your information I don’t have a fiancée anymore.”  
  
She’s not sure why she said that, why she felt the need to be honest. Possibly it was because she thought she might die soon and nothing really mattered anymore.  
  
“Why? What happened?” he asked, not sounding the slightest bit concerned.  
  
“This job. He thought I’d met someone else, I couldn’t very well tell him it wasn’t another man, so much as a something-asaurus,” she said, although it was only partly the truth, “Anyway the truth of the matter is I’ve been feeling…different, recently. Look, can we talk about this another time?”  
  
“Sure, I didn’t start it.”  
  
“Besides, it’s not like we haven’t got anything else to worry about. Imminent death, for example.”  
  
“It’s okay, we’re not going to die. Helen’s a lot of things, but she’s not a killer.”  
  
Jenny was almost reassured by his faith in Helen, he’s the one who knew her best after all.  
  
“You really think she’s in charge here?” she asked, desperate for the answer to be no, desperate for Helen to still be the hero she’s always been to Jenny.  
  
“Yeah, Leek doesn’t have the wit to do this on his own,” Cutter replied, dashing all of Jenny’s hopes.  
  
They slipped back in to silence then, lost in their own thoughts.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
When the guard came to summon them Jenny knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that this was it, the moment she’d been waiting for, had been desperate for, to meet Helen and finally get some answers.  
  
“It’s time we talked, Nick.”  
  
And there she was, standing in front of her like she owned the place. Cutter was right, she was the one in charge here.  
  
“What about?” he asked, still unconcerned and unfazed, oblivious to the pain and confusion Jenny knew Helen could see all across her face.  
  
Helen didn’t answer, not exactly. She stepped towards Jenny, making her heart skip a beat.  
  
“Fascinating. The same as Claudia in every external detail, eyes, hair. In all visible ways she’s the same woman and yet she’s completely different.”  
  
Claudia. That name again, the one Cutter always called her. She had never believed his story about Claudia, but now that Helen said it she did.   
  
Helen reached out to touch Jenny’s face, and it was only the feel of a gun at her back that stopped her from launching herself kicking and screaming at the woman she had trusted with her life until not too long ago.  
  
Instead she just pulled away and snarled, “Back off!” causing Helen to smirk in a way Jenny had never seen her do before.  
  
“A little more aggressive, perhaps, than the original,” she said to Nick, as though Jenny wasn’t even there, “Claudia Brown becomes Jenny Lewis, a new person with a new identity, interesting. As though nature allows only so much variation.”  
  
Suddenly Jenny understood everything, and it hurt more than she could ever have imagined. Helen didn’t care about her, she never had, she was just curious. That’s why she always asked so many questions, she was trying to find out about Claudia, about Jenny, and how they were different. Jenny was nothing more than an experiment to her, a scientific curiosity.  
  
“Listen, Helen, you can still save yourself. Help us and I’ll make sure Lester goes easy on you.” It was her last hope, her last attempt to appeal to the Helen she knew, not the stranger standing before her. She knew it wouldn’t make a difference but she had to try anyway, had to give Helen the chance to do the right thing, to be the woman Jenny had always thought she was.  
  
Helen just laughed. And when she looked at Jenny there was nothing recognisable in her eyes, no trace of the protector Jenny had once known her to be.  
  
“I think you’d be happier with your friends, Jenny, and Nick, you’re with me.”  
  
And as she’s lead away, possibly to face her death, Jenny knows that whatever happens, Helen won’t visit her again.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
 _Epilogue._  
  
The clock ticked and ticked, louder than the rattling breaths of everyone in the room, counting down their time left in God’s waiting room. Helen felt a wave a fear wash over her – even after facing predators and near death this frightened her more than anything. She pushed the fear down, telling herself it was irrational and unfounded – she was master of time itself, she would never, ever, end up here, like this.  
  
“Here we are then, easy, down you go, that’s it.”  
  
The young nurse helped her elderly patient down into the seat opposite Helen.  
  
“Would you like a cup of tea?”  
  
“That would be lovely, I’m sure we’ll be chatting for a while,” Helen replied, forcing honey she didn’t feel into her voice.  
  
When she had the tea in her hand, and was sure the nurse was out of earshot, she smiled with genuine warmth at the elderly lady in front of her.  
  
“Hello Jenny, do you remember me?”  
  
Jenny looked up at her slowly, confusion visible behind her cataracts. Helen smiled and took her hand, fighting the revulsion the wrinkled skin caused her.  
  
“My name’s Helen, I’m your god-daughter, remember?” she said a little too loudly, for the benefit of the nurses, “I’ve got the day off so I thought I’d come and visit you.”  
  
Jenny smiled slightly but the confusion in her eyes didn’t go away.  
  
“Yes, yes Helen of course, how are you my dear? How are your parents?”  
  
“Oh they’re fine Aunty Jenny, we’re all doing very well.” Helen patted Jenny’s hand gently.  
  
“But I didn’t come here to talk about me, I want to hear your stories again, you tell such wonderful stories. Why don’t you tell me again about your life? Tell me, what were the most important moments in your life, the times you wished you could have had a guardian angel…”


End file.
